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I believe in the Human-Animal Bond. I believe that animals bring a lot of goodness to our lives - intrinsic and extrinsic rewards which improve human health and well-being. I believe that it is our human duty to bring such goodness to the lives of animals, as well. Call it what you may: stewardship, compassion, care-taking, dominion. Although I don't personally ascribe to the latter label, I've been approached by more than one individual who sees from a spiritual perspective that humans have dominion over the creatures of the earth by Grace of God, so it goes on the list. Whether stewardship or dominion or somewhere in-between, aren't we laden with the responsibility of creating goodness?
I do ascribe to the Pets for Life (PFL) model. All too often I hear animal advocates and animal lovers pushing humans to the side with judgment and hostility. Do I ever feel that way? Most certainly. I don't believe that animal cruelty should go unnoticed or uncorrected. I see neglect. I react like the majority of humans with disgust and dismay as animals suffer under our care. But I also know that if I want things to improve for the animals, I better not forget the people behind them, or I will never win. I will never be contributing to fixing what is a broken system of animal welfare. I will be an actor, a player with a part, and I may have impact in the moment, but I won't be creating the impact I want to see across time. I better put on my big girl pants and swallow my ego, because that's the only way I'll get the world that I want. The more I tell someone what to do or put my expectations on them, the harder I will have to work in my life. I don't want to work that hard, so I choose a different course.
Which brings me to today. 2 p.m.
I'm sitting in the bustling office at Haywood Spay/Neuter, where I am Executive Director, and the phone rings. A gentleman is looking for the phone number for animal services. That's easy enough, but oh so often there is much more behind that request, and without my prodding, he laid it upon me. He has a dog that he needs to give up.
Stop.
How many of you know this moment? This is THE moment, folks. This is the make it or break it moment. This is a crossroads with multiple destinations, and this is where the real work begins. What do you do?
Judge? Say, "You horrible human being"? That's the easy one. It gives you an immediate sense of worth by making another person worthless. It doesn't take much work at all to get to that destination.
Escape? Haywood County Animals Services is 828.456.5338. There. done. I'm an Executive Director at a spay/neuter nonprofit. This isn't my responsibility. I've got a million things to do today, so this can be someone else's problem. NIMBY. Not in my backyard.
In all honesty, I am not very good at pressing the 'escape' button. In fact, I'm sure there are lots of people who think I need to press the 'escape' button more often, but that's not my path in this life. But I am not you, so I'm just putting that option out there.
I'm pretty sure it was because I was reading the Toolkit that I found myself taking a deep breath. In. That quiet space we all know exists but takes an effort to tap into. Unless you are a practiced yogi or a sage or a priest, I suppose. I like to think that our social workers and our teachers are good at this too, this breathing in and pause. Breathe in so as to reach out.
It wasn't just a dog. It was a pit bull type dog. Big strike against the dog if it goes to the shelter. The fellow then stated that the dog had mange. How about just putting a big red X across that dog's intake sheet if it ends up at animal services? Maybe I'm being a pessimist, but I think I'm being more of a realist. Rescue resources for pitties in our area are few and far between. Complicate that with a medical condition, and whammy. No happy ending. Just an ending instead. So what now?
The answer for me is simple: try to find a solution to keep this dog out of the shelter. He wasn't trying to give up the animal to the shelter out of lack of love. As the story unfolded, I could hear his voice waver. He'd found this dog over a year ago. It was a mellow dog, good with kids and other dogs, well-behaved, laid-back. All wonderful qualities. So why give it up? I asked that, and he gave me reasons. Real reasons.
- He's done everything he knows to do to treat the skin disease and nothing is working.
- Hear yourself judging? You might be.
- He has four other dogs, and this one is chained.
- Judging yet?
- He is unemployed.
Ah. This is something I can relate to. My family, in general, has had lots of up-and-down financial struggles since I was about eight years old, so I relate to the stresses we encounter in life with a fairly long-arm view. I also was unemployed for twenty months while creating the Tailroad movement, putting myself through grad school (almost done!), caring and educating my son, and trying to find an awesome job in animal advocacy, such as I have now.
By taking the time to listen and ask open-ended questions, I was able to find out quickly that this was a man who was overwhelmed. He wanted help, but didn't seem to quite want to accept it. The more we spoke over the phone, the more I thought that, "Wow, I think he is embarrassed!" I may never know, but it sounded to me like he felt horrible about how bad his dog looked, and that he didn't want anyone to know this was his dog, his responsibility, and, in his eyes, his failure. Nothing he'd tried had worked. Mange can make a dog look appalling when it goes systemic - a dog covered by festering skin. Maybe he should have taken the dog to the vet, you say, perhaps with a little bit of a tilted nose, a sniff, and a hint of sarcasm. Yes, there is that. However, low-cost veterinary services can be hard to come by. Also, from a cultural context, which I highly believe everyone needs to think about as they live their lives, we live in a location where people tend to do what they can with what is available, including doing their own shots for their pets, and home remedies if something is wrong with them, or reaching for a product at a farm supply store. It's common practice here.
What next? Time for action. We made a plan. I took his contact information and asked if I could try to secure veterinary care for his dog. He acquiesced. It took quite a bit of time to get to this point. Before we reached that point, I asked about his other dogs, because I really wanted to know more about them. I found out one had been adopted from a local humane society and had come fixed. Great! Another was a female feist. Fixed. Woohoo! The third was a 13 year-old pit bull. Wow, sounds like a good caretaker to me. Not fixed, he admitted, but given the dog's age, that's fair, and he was the one to bring up how he needs to keep an eye out for prostate and testicular cancer. Fantastic. The fourth is a small-breed puppy, not yet fixed. A mutt. So we talked about signing the puppy up for our spay/neuter trip at the end of the month when it is old enough to also receive a rabies vaccine. Kind of glad we kept that conversation going.
Why is the dog chained? Because he has a smaller home, and this dog is a larger dog, and there may be too many dogs, and he, the human, is stressed out about life right now. That situation isn't ideal, but it goes on a to-do list to come back to in the future. At least he doesn't seem to want to chain this dog up, which is still considered common practice here in Western North Carolina.
I gave him my cell number so he had a way to reach me, because I told him it might take me a day or two to align assistance. Honestly, if I was going to have to solicit the volunteers and staff in the office for donations, I was willing to do it. I gave him my number because I wanted him to know that I wasn't just listening and giving up on him and his dog.
During the next hour I spoke with an animal hospital twice. I spoke with Linda from SPARK, a pit bull organization which funds medical care. I spoke with Joanna from Francis Fund, Haywood County's emergency veterinary expense resource. Between all these partners, we managed to make him an appointment to have his dog seen so it could receive the treatment it needs.
The veterinary receptionist was helpful beyond words. She was thoughtful and understanding. And I appreciated two organizations joining together to offer to fund the treatment this dog needed. Did I hear the familiar refrain about how he needs to pay something because we don't want him thinking he doesn't have any responsibility? Yes. I did. And I could only reply that he was paying in other ways. In the back of my head I couldn't help but think how a little giving now could lead to goodness being paid forward down the road, how it could keep this dog in its home with a person who loves it, how it could bring another community member into our hearts and into this process of change. We have the potential in these scenarios to make friends. To find a new volunteer. To find a spokesperson who takes our message and spreads it across a neighborhood, a community. We have the potential to save a dog. To help a family. That's about all I need.
This is still an open case. But I will say, though, that when I called him back with the good news, well, it warmed my heart to hear his gratitude. I could hear his voice lift with some real hope and optimism. And surprise. I didn't expect that, so for me, the reward was very great, even if the time investment was high. I received three cell phone photos of his dogs today. In a way, I've already met his family. I told him I'll be calling him tomorrow to remind him of his upcoming appointment, and, yes, this whole thing could fail. This blog could be for nothing. He could simply -poof- disappear, but I don't think he will. I may have to find a rescue for this dog. He may really need help rehoming him. Or maybe not. We'll just have to see. He loves this dog, so if we have to rehome him, well, we're doing it out of love, and I'll work with that.
I did offer him a word of caution: "Be nice to the veterinary staff." Just to be safe. Just a reminder that a lot of people were going to bat for him and his dog, so be polite. Maybe I shouldn't have, but, basically, in this blog I am saying to you and to me the same thing, "Be nice." Be part of the solution.
And although I am the Executive Director at Haywood Spay/Neuter, Haywood Spay/Neuter is STILL Haywood Animal Welfare Association at its root. I see it as my duty and my destiny to strive to help us all fare well. And I will continue to work my way through the Pets for Life Toolkit, because I don't think it is done teaching me lessons. Indeed, I believe it is just a beginning to something incredible, a path to a destination I want to reach where we all work together, and the animals are safe and loved, and so are the humans.
Love from the Tailroad,
Chandra
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